Prayer for a second chance in my marriage
by Michael Fox
My wife Jenny and I are on the precipice of a divorce that I initiated and no longer want. Without going into too much detail, I became enmeshed in an emotional affair that I came to believe I wanted to pursue. I was wrong, I was delusional--but it happened that way.Prior to the affair, my wife and I were separated for 5 months. She was on a religious retreat,and prevented from contacting me on a regular basis. When she came back, she was deeply changed. But my actions were wrong and damaging, and I don't want to make excuses. I was playing with fire,and in the 'affair fog'. She was distant, irritable--and consumed by faith, including the writings of Neil Anderson (spiritual warfare stuff).
I have never been a Christian-- I was raised in a Jewish family. I always supported my wife's religious journey, which started 5 years after we were married and intensified for 16 years. The faith difference was a point of conflict. My selfishness led me to believe I was not the priority in the marriage, although she was the priority to me. It was an unequally yoked marriage, and in a moment of confusion and fear, I left the marriage.
I see the error of my ways. I see my sins, and I've repented. I'm trying to pray now, trying to come to God to save my marriage. My wife hasn't spoken to me for 18 months. She wants the divorce, and she has the right to go through with it. But this experience has changed me a lot as a person, and I've realized a lot of my previous errors--the affair and more. I've written to her hundreds of times, but she doesn't respond. I've admitted my sins.
I want a second chance. I'm praying to restore the marriage. I've prayed to Jesus--but my faith is weak. Please help me. Please pray that my wife softens her heart. We can go to Christian-based counselling and restore the marriage. It won't be easy--but I love her deeply and truly, and I've hurt her deeply. Please pray that her heart is healed, and that God can touch her heart and see her flawed husband wants to find his way home. We were married for nearly 22 years. Yes, I have sinned--one of the greatest of sins. I confess my sins. I am a better person. I will attend church with her, as I have before at many times. I just want a chance to prove myself worthy and honorable. I made a bad mistake--but i am not a bad person. Just a lost soul.
In Jesus's name I pray. Amen